uhh oh.

i really like it here. i wish that someone would move here with me, i think i would stay another year (or 5). i always do this! i always make rash decision in moments of desperation, and then a week later kinda regret having made said decision. im not sure if i regret it yet. right now, in this exact instant, im totally loving my life here in basquelandia. but you know me, im such a pessimist, im assuming ill be back to being totally miserable in about 7 to 10 days. at least im enjoying my time here, right? it would be so much easier if it was just a love/hate thing. i love it here im staying/i hate it here im leaving. but the problem lies in the fact that my favor lands exactly in the middle. cause i do love love love it here, but i hate being without my family and friends. such a dilemma. but life always kinda seems that way, right? like thats how it is with san francisco too. i love san francisco, and i love all the friends i have made there over the years and i miss them dearly, but the weather literally kills a little part of me everyday, and so do the highest rent rates in america. so im perplexed. i think another problem is that i always want to do too much. i want to stay here for the rest of my life, i want to go back to san clemente for the rest of my life, i want to move back to mexico, i want to move to japan, i want to be with my girls, i want to be with my family, i want to explore, i want to settle down. this cannot all happen simultaneously. i can hear a parent-like voice in the back of my head (not my parents obviously cause they would know how obvious this already is to me, but some other unknowing parent) saying "you must prioritize your priorities". yup that IS what i have to do. but what if i have like, 1,000,000 priorities???

today is my day of fashion blogging. i have to do it about myself cause theres not really anyone else. sorry!

ehh hem.

to begin. yesterday i found a kick-ass leather jacket at the thrift store! ive been wanting a leather jacket since i was like 12 years old, but they always suck at fitting and/or they are really expensive. but at last i've found one! its

not exactly what i wanted, but dude it was only 15euros and así vale.

next. spider web tights. i bought them for Carnival, but since you couldnt see th

em in any of the pictures, well i wanted to show

you how rad they are. i got them at a metal/goth store in bilbao. its the same store where they sell judas priest and lacrimosa coffee mugs.

last but far far far from least... an eskorbuto shirt!!!!! sooo cool!

its something i

totally didnt realize

was going to be so rad about

pais vasco. everyone totally loves eskorbuto here, because theyre from bizkaia, a province of pais vasco. yeah, theyre so popular here, its hard for me to comprehend. its like, if you were from here, your mom would totally be like (in an old woman type voice) "oh are you going to that eskorbuto concert next week?" and youd be like (in an ann

oyed teenager type voice) "GOD mom leave me alone". but still, im totally stoked on it. its stupid how happy finding an eskorbuto shirt can make a girl. stupid!

mucha policia poca diversion . un error un error!

i did laundry and took a shower today

those are both considered 'sunday activities' in my book

but i was so bored i did them 4 days early

the promised land

kaitlin and i have been talking about LA a lot. we miss california. well actually she's there, but she's being nostalgic and missing it with me. i am really happy to be going to new york for a while, but i cant wait to get back to california. why is it so good? why does it have to be so awesome? california has totally ruined me; i can't live anywhere else and be happy. for the last like, 150 years, the population of the united states has been slowly shifting towards the west coast. well sometimes slowly, and sometimes super fast (think the goldrush, and the DUSTBOWL). and if someone says they're not that into california, im sorry but they are probably just being stubborn. its my home sweet home, and sometimes i take it for granted, but from this day forth i vow to never commit that grave error again. i think about all the people from the midwest that ive meet throughout my life. they have a similar hometown 'midwestern' pride. but they too end up in california. and im not trying to say that i think the rest of america sucks. cause it doesnt. america is so beautiful and diverse and magnificent that it makes me want to cry. im just like my parents; i could drive for hours through the nothingness that is northern arizona or west texas and be in total awe and enchantment of my surroundings. but ill always come back to california. cause its the best.

part of kaitlin and i's recent obsession with california has been provoked by a really stupidly good song called "I love LA" by randy newman. its ridiculous and cheezy and totally makes you want to move to LA tomorrow. and it makes us want to curl our hair! so this is my hair, inspired by kaitlin falahee (but with a katie updo variation), who was in turn inspired by the red head from the "I love LA" music video, who was obviously very inspired by randy newman, who got his inspiration from beautiful california. my home sweet home!

its snowing again. i guess it was kinda naive for me to think winter was coming to an end. ive never lived here before (duh) and really have no idea how long this winter is going to last. it could snow until may for all i know. my mom reminded me that Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow this year, and i reminded her that PETA wants him replaced by a robot. i just realized that the first 4 letters in Punxsutawney spell punx. thats so punk. wow and everything is so connected! because i ALSO just realized that as i sit here writing about animal rights and punx, im listening to rudimentary peni SING about animal rights and punx. does every track on 'death church' have some reference to animal (including human animal) liberation? as far i can tell, yup they do. and even another connection! remember my post about how i accidently find myself repeating the wisdom and eloquence that are the lyrics of ace of base in my head on a daily basis? well it was pointed out to me by a dear friend that the lyrics of ace of base and rudimentary peni actually touch on a lot of the same themes. so there, another connection, wow, everything is so connected. its a small world. im drinking coffee again and eating cookies again. the same variety as yesterday. its my little connection to the past. but its a new day.

its a 'road to ruin' kind of afternoon. accompanied by coffee and cookies. i suck at blogging. i wonder how many people have blogged about THAT. im sure im being totally original. ok back to the ramones. i find myself getting really annoyed with the song 'bad brain'. its mostly just the tropical interlude they decided to drop in there. and then im instantly revitalized by the following track on the album, 'its a long way back'. im not sure why, i agree with most of you when you say its a strange choice. its something about the repetition. the lyrics, the chord progression; its totally simplistic. i think its like my mantra or something. i wonder if that counts as a mantra. i will start practicing hindu and spend hours a day meditating and chanting ramones' lyrics. i literally cannot imagine a more ideal existence.

its wednesday afternoon at 5 and im done with work for the weekend. the um, let me count it... 6 day weekend. next tuesday is carnival so we get monday and tuesday off of work. i asked my students what carnival was celebrating. they didnt know. whoever said spain was a catholic country obviously has not visited since 1976. this is a country of heathens! i didnt realize lent was something that the united states made up. you learn something new everyday.

texas chain saw massacre! joey ramone has the raddest/most strange accent. why does he say massacre like that? k im going to the post office.

today is saturday, january 30, 2010.

its raining and im drinking tea in bed, because i think i might be sick. last night i went to the movies and saw 'a serious man' and i didn't really like it. maybe something was lost in translation. they only show dubbed movies where i live, and it drives me crazy. especially when you know the actors' voices and you are watching them speak and its not their voices that are coming out of their mouths. i dont really have any other plans for this weekend. i do have my second conversation class tonight though, but i find it kinda stressful, so i cant really count it as 'fun weekend plans'. most of what ive been up to can be seen below. its a picture of my 'work space'; i get really creative in my 'work space'. reading, tetris, scale models, and computering (not pictured).

i pretty much have the next three weeks off of work. i will work a total of 1 day per week for the next three weeks. i love complaining about this, because it sounds

totally ridiculous. i dont want to get paid to NOT work for three weeks straight, and then go back to work for 4 weeks and then have another 2 weeks. another 2 weeks of paid vacation. this really is a great job. its fun and the hours are great and they keep giving me all this time off. now if only the commute to brooklyn wasn't 16 hours and $800. but seriously, you know you are desperate when you would rather work then get paid not to work. i know ive said this before, but im really just not sure what ill do. ill go stir crazy. probably get island fever. and cabin fever. and ill eat way too much.

i got my hair cut last week, and my mom asked me to put up a picture. so here it is. shameless self-promotion. shameless!