uhh oh.

i really like it here. i wish that someone would move here with me, i think i would stay another year (or 5). i always do this! i always make rash decision in moments of desperation, and then a week later kinda regret having made said decision. im not sure if i regret it yet. right now, in this exact instant, im totally loving my life here in basquelandia. but you know me, im such a pessimist, im assuming ill be back to being totally miserable in about 7 to 10 days. at least im enjoying my time here, right? it would be so much easier if it was just a love/hate thing. i love it here im staying/i hate it here im leaving. but the problem lies in the fact that my favor lands exactly in the middle. cause i do love love love it here, but i hate being without my family and friends. such a dilemma. but life always kinda seems that way, right? like thats how it is with san francisco too. i love san francisco, and i love all the friends i have made there over the years and i miss them dearly, but the weather literally kills a little part of me everyday, and so do the highest rent rates in america. so im perplexed. i think another problem is that i always want to do too much. i want to stay here for the rest of my life, i want to go back to san clemente for the rest of my life, i want to move back to mexico, i want to move to japan, i want to be with my girls, i want to be with my family, i want to explore, i want to settle down. this cannot all happen simultaneously. i can hear a parent-like voice in the back of my head (not my parents obviously cause they would know how obvious this already is to me, but some other unknowing parent) saying "you must prioritize your priorities". yup that IS what i have to do. but what if i have like, 1,000,000 priorities???